


PALINDROME

by dreamiesficfest, ravenboy



Series: Dear Dream - Dreamies Fic Fest (Third Wave) [7]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mark-centric, Multi, Swearing, best friends mark and jeno fight, endgame polyamory relo, hyuck's just here for fun, nomarkhyuck but markno main, racecar au, racecar is the palindrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-29 00:35:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18767563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamiesficfest/pseuds/dreamiesficfest, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenboy/pseuds/ravenboy
Summary: Prompt Number: #DD009Mark was okay with not (fully) understanding 1. racing and 2. Jeno Lee. Past tense.Because Donghyuck Lee exists and now it really isn’t okay.Alternatively: Mark and Jeno are best friends, until Donghyuck shows up.





	PALINDROME

**Author's Note:**

> Notes from the Author: hi guys!! i really did pour sweat and tears into this fic so i really hope you like reading it. a huge thank you to the prompter for working with me and suggesting this amazing idea and also a BIG, HUGE thank you to my beta!!! we both managed to finish this despite school and exams taking over our lives, so all the love to her too :-) enjoy the read!!

There are two things in Mark’s life which he deems undefinable: Jeno Lee and racing. That much, he knows. What confuses Mark is how carelessly he lets himself get wound up with the both of them. 

Racing had been there for so much of his childhood, he could call it just that; his youth. Yet, every single time he gets behind the wheel, front tires inching past the car next to his, his breath catches onto the moment and renders him high on the feeling of time freezing and electricity running down his arms. Unfailingly. 

As Renjun often announces after each race, the Mark behind the wheel maybe isn’t Mark at all. Just another blank person ignited with determination to win. Jeno disagrees. 

Mark thinks he’s the only one that understands his destructive obsession with racing (and winning). 

“Still down for some pancakes at our place after this lap?” 

Mark shifts the gear. “Obviously. Loser pays,” his voice crackles over the radio. Jeno hums in acknowledgement and speeds off past Mark. 

Jeno, too, had been there for the better half of Mark’s life. Growing up with dirt-stained shirts from spending days on end at the tracks and scratched necks from the swift retractions of the seatbelt were just some of their innumerable memories together. 

Mark smirks as he follows into the smoke. The roar of their engines echo across the track. 

\--

“Nice lap, kid. Keep it up and you might just take gold at the Championships,” says Taeil, having just come onto the bleachers from his delivery. 

He clicks his tongue. “I slide too much when I drift around the third bend.” 

Taeil half-laughs at this. 

Mark looks to Johnny, waiting for his comments.

Johnny grunts in agreement, “Pull back on the steering next time. And work on your gear shifting around the slopes. Jeno’s already got that sorted.”

Mark makes his way back to his car, very much aware of the shit-eating grin on his face. He got criticism from Johnny Seo for the first time in years. Maybe he _was_ set to win this race. 

As he finishes another lap, better this time but still not quite there yet, Jeno comes into view. 

He tells him that the other kids are here. And that his drifts still suck shit. 

“Cunt. My time’s better than yours.” Mark remarks as he approaches the gang of hawk-eyed, ruthless boys. 

Jisung suggests they should place bets on the winner of the Championships and so they chalk up whatever spare bills they have and Chenle adds what’s likely to be expired chocolate on top of that. Renjun and Jisung are sure about Jeno. Jaemin and Chenle glare at Mark as they say his name. 

Ten catches a waft of their dealings and expresses, not so quietly, his wishes to join. Which results in everyone in the warehouse joining. It’s split perfectly even between Mark and Jeno. 

“It’s cool. Sungie, Jaemin, Renjun and I didn’t need the moral support anyway,” Chenle adds. 

Jaehyun smiles at that and pulls Chenle into a headlock position, with high pitched screams coming out of his armpit.

“Taeyong hasn’t voted yet.”

Mark grimaces. He doesn’t know if he wants Taeyong to decide between the two of them yet. He had already developed wrinkles from watching Johnny cast his bet, which didn’t go announced anyway. 

Taeyong shrugs, “You kids aren’t the only ones competing. This is a regional thing.” He puts his bet in, announcing that he takes the money if neither of them win.

Yuta waits until the money has been safely handed into Sicheng’s hands, to snort and point out that Jeno and Mark only need two more years to be up at his level, so the chances of anyone else beating them are slimmer than slim. 

Taeyong twirls his car keys and trudges back, mumbling something about a delivery. 

Mark watches him for a few seconds, then turns to Jeno, who has a mirrored expression of curiosity.

Being in Taeyong’s presence felt as if a stranger had sucked all the air out of your lungs then asked you to explain how time worked. He was almost unreal. Almost unexplainable. 

Mark thinks that after racing and Jeno, Lee Taeyong would come a close third to the list of things that were undefinable. 

–

They head down to their place after the debacle with the betting. It’s pressuring, in a way that Mark has never dealt with before. 

Jeno’s used to this, always has been. Although, even now, he’s hard on himself in a way that no one ever sees. 

Mark, however, is new to this. Johnny trusting him to get him his trophy, Sicheng telling him that his car had been designed with intricate materials that he should have no problem taking it to the finish line. 

Mark likes it though. He likes the way he’s seen as reliable, as someone who works so hard that it’d be impossible for him to not win. It’s an addictive source of confidence that Mark doesn’t want to quit. 

Jeno comes back, sliding into the chair across of him. “I ordered your usual. And I bought that new milkshake? I’ve wanted to try it for a while.”

Mark hums in agreement. It’s a while of just heated discussions on who was dating who before their food comes. 

“I still think,” Jeno says, “that Doyoung has a thing with Yuta.”

Mark takes a sip of the cinnamon milkshake. It’s pretty good, so he internally acknowledges Jeno’s taste. “And just left Jungwoo in the dust like that?”

Jeno shrugs. “They don’t even do deliveries in the same area, dude.”

Mark still wants to argue that Jungwoo’s inexplicable flirting only comes out in front of Doyoung, but the steam of the blueberry pancakes wafts into his nose and he succumbs to his inherent cravings for food. 

\--

They usually spend time like this. Lying down with blankets on the back of Jungwoo’s dusty ute, dressed in warmth and the scent of each other. Basking in the grey moments past midnight which aren’t really light enough to call morning. 

It’s quiet at first. Then Jeno rasps, “I think you’ll win.”

Without missing a beat, Mark replies, “No. I think there’s a good chance I will. And a just as good chance that you will too.”

Jeno snorts. “That doesn’t make sense.”

Mark shuffles to sleep on his back. He peers out to the bright gathering of stars seen through the small hole in the ceiling of the warehouse caused by Jisung when he and Chenle had accidentally set off fireworks. He doesn’t question how he doesn’t find it odd. 

“You ever wonder why your mum doesn’t call you?” 

Jeno takes a while to respond, a few seconds. Minutes. “I gave up on her. Makes sense that she would give up on me.”

Mark doesn’t reply. It’s so quiet for so long that Jeno thinks he’s fallen asleep. 

“I don’t think that’s very fair.”

Jeno is inclined to agree. It is a bit unfair the way the woman who had preached her love for her perfect son every day for the first fifteen years of his life suddenly decided to trap him out. But maybe she was just in love with the perfect Jeno Lee. The Jeno Lee that is not at all like the present Jeno Lee, who races for a living and is set to do deliveries. That Jeno Lee was a lamb. Innocent. Naive. Perfect, too… almost. 

Mark continues, “I wouldn’t.” 

There are a few things left unsaid; I wouldn’t give up on you. Even if you did on me. Ever.

But Mark knows Jeno already heard everything. He can tell by the way Jeno closes his eyes and lets a faint smile play out on his lips. So Mark does the same. 

And when Taeyong throws water on them the next day for not sleeping in their rooms, it only takes a quick apology and a sheepish smile to be let go. 

–

The reason behind Jeno Lee’s contradicting nature was this: his quiet, reserved self in front of the boys, often only speaking a few words every conversation, loosely laced with his invigorating energy behind the wheel, where risk was not a foreign concept. 

Mark and Doyoung are the only few people who could tell you something about Jeno’s life before all this, and sometimes Jaemin too if he feels like it. 

Though, he isn’t really all that complicated. There are many simple things about Jeno. Mark knows, for one, that Jeno likes his sleep. He’s very blunt and obvious about it. Simple. In the same way Mark is simple about winning. 

Jeno’s simple in the way he lets Mark in, confiding in him but never failing to make time to hear Mark’s thoughts, regardless of how simple or complicated those were. 

It’s why Mark can laugh or cry or scream with Jeno, he likes to think. It’s nothing personal for the other boys, he just doesn’t see them as much either. 

It didn’t help that from the moment he wakes up to the minute he falls asleep, he sits in the worn-down leather seats, hands instinctively reaching for the gear every turn and slope he approached. He’s even fallen asleep in his car after long hours, too many times to count. 

Taeil would always warn him to take it easy, rest for a couple of days, take it slow. 

But Mark lived for the thrill of speed itself. The only two people he would see more often than not were Johnny, courtesy of the number of deliveries they had to get done this month, (“For Taeyong’s _stupid_ car elevator”) and Jeno. Which fails to surprise him.

It’s always Mark and Jeno or Jeno and Mark at the tracks. 

Or that’s what had been.

If Jeno was undefinable, and complicated, and simple then Donghyuck was everything else. 

“Donghyuck, boys. Boys, Donghyuck,” Taeyong briefly introduces. He unknowingly stays closer to Donghyuck’s side. Or knowingly, Mark doesn’t know.

What Mark does know, is this: Donghyuck’s smile being enough reason for him to burn his car if the boy asked. 

He turns to see Jeno already looking at him, with a raised eyebrow, before turning back to Taeyong for some explanation.

“Uh, Taeyong. We can’t afford another kid if you still want to work on the car elevator. No offence, Donghyuck. Our deliveries would have to increase by 20 per cent each unless Mark starts working,” Doyoung cautions. 

Taeyong grunts, “Donghyuck can take care of himself.”

Doyoung nods. The group remains silent. Jaemin’s the first to break the silence, throwing a flirty grin in Donghyuck’s direction.

“You can room with me, I’ve got a free bed and a free boyfriend position, too, if you were interested.”

Donghyuck grins back, maybe with even more vivacity. “I’d gladly take up that offer Jaemin, if it wasn’t for loverboy Renjun here who would probably murder me with a stick.” 

Mark doesn’t talk then. He doesn’t talk for long after Taeyong explains that ‘Hyuck’ has been under his wing for the past 3 months, training for the Championships. He doesn’t talk even when he’s gone back to his shitty, 50-a-week apartment Taeyong had got Jeno and him.

It’s only when Mark’s stomach stops clawing up his throat that he responds to Jeno’s nudge with something like ‘I’m fine.’

“He’s pretty isn’t he? Donghyuck, I mean,” Renjun asks. 

Mark thinks he’s caught. He thinks his inability to hide his heart he wears on his sleeve has got him fucking caught. He thinks it's over, the boys know exactly how he feels about Donghyuck, about how he finds him so devastatingly hot. And how he could kiss his lips forever. He’s ready for his undoing when he looks up.

But when he looks up, Renjun’s not looking at him. He’s looking at Jeno. Either Mark had not been wearing his “I’M ATTRACTED TO DONGHYUCK LEE” sign in bold on his forehead, or Renjun was just ignorant. Stupid. Both.

Jeno shrugs. “I guess so. I’m more surprised about how he realised you two had a thing on the first meeting.”

“Jaemin and I don’t have a thing.”

“Okay, well, whatever you both have that you obviously are too wuss to put a noun on.”

Renjun stares straight ahead for a second. Then at Jeno. Then Mark. 

“I’m willing to pay good money to see Donghyuck fuck the both of you up.” Then Renjun leaves to the kitchen.

Mark looks to Jaemin, who’s been following Renjun with his eyes since they came into the room. 

“What’d I do?” Jaemin only pats him, half sympathetically, half to get Mark to stop talking, then follows Renjun.

–

Mark doesn’t talk to Donghyuck until the first three weeks from his arrival have passed. It’s only meant to be a passing greeting. He has somewhere to be, and Donghyuck is much too separate, different for them to have anything to talk about. 

“Hey, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck’s eyes flutter up. “Oh! The infamous Mark Lee. What does a man have to do to see your racing one day?”

Mark grins, “Come on, Hyuck. You know I’m on the track 24/7. You just need to hang around a bit.”

Donghyuck stares at Mark intently, too intently, as if he knows he can unmake Mark’s sanity right here, right now. “I’ve seen you drive. It’s impossible not to. I meant race, like _race_ race.”

Mark frowns. “Yeah, I guess my times are a little better in official races. But every ride out there is serious to me.”

“Then maybe it shouldn’t be.” Donghyuck smiles and skips off to join Jisung in his pranking endeavours.

Mark’s too focused on solving the mystery of words as well as ignoring Johnny’s little smirk at their interaction, to notice Jeno’s curious stare. 

He spends the rest of the day trying to catch a conversation with the ever-so-restless Donghyuck to ask him ‘what do you mean’ but Donghyuck’s much too popular to stop.

It’s a wonder to the whole gang how quickly everyone warms up to Donghyuck. For fuck’s sake, he’d even got Doyoung to buy him food. 

Taeyong’s reasoning was, “I didn’t wanna get him caught up with our business,” when asked why he had kept him hidden for so long. Mark thinks that even if had been three years, ten years, or fifty, Donghyuck still would have found Mark. 

Mark approaches the boys gathered around Chenle’s hood, playing around with the spare bits Yuta had given them. 

A few ‘hey Mark’s’ go around as he leans against the side, peering into the mess that is Chenle’s engine.

“Donghyuck’s gotten used to this fast,” he says.

Renjun raises an eyebrow without looking up from the radiator he had been trying to fix on for the past fifteen minutes. “Yeah… I guess he has? Does it bother you?” He looks up, staring at Mark.

“Why would it bother me? I’m just saying that he got Doyoung to open up faster than any of us ever did. It’s pretty cool.”

Jisung stops slurping his popper. “Dude… he got _Jeno_ to open up. They’re like tight or something.”

Mark’s face twists. 

“Yeah, man. Didn’t they spend the night organising the deliveries together? It wasn’t even Jeno’s shift,” Jaemin adds.

The guts inside Mark tighten and unravel like snakes slithering. He’s uneasy. 

So, naturally, he mulls over it for the long hours of the night.

It goes like this: Mark realises he has the hots for Donghyuck. Obviously. The boy is made up of short shorts revealing too much leg and low-hanging shirts revealing his neck and then some. It’s inevitable. Donghyuck is inevitable.

It’s also impossible for Mark to not like Donghyuck. As in Like-Like. In a total crush way. 

The second thing Mark realises is how Jeno is complicated in more ways than he knows. Complicated in how he lets Donghyuck in almost instantly, or as instantly as three weeks go in comparison to the three months of silence he offered Mark and Doyoung at first. 

_You’re jealous_ , Renjun helpfully supplies.

But Mark isn’t jealous. Mark doesn’t get jealous. He admires, like the way he admires Johnny’s racing. That’s what he tells Renjun.

But if he’s being honest, Mark doesn’t fucking know if he’s jealous or not. He doesn’t even know _what_ to feel. 

Maybe it’s something about how Donghyuck talks to Mark as if he could define Mark Lee in a sentence if he wanted to. Or how Jeno can manage to make Mark tense up every single muscle in the body because he knows he could calm him down in a second if needed.

Or maybe it was just the way Mark was pathetic when it came to dealing with his emotional constipation. 

-

As far as the term friends went, Mark would consider Renjun a close one. He was, at least, closer than the rest. Jisung and Chenle were either always in school, playing pranks, or driving. And Jaemin was closer to Jeno, had always been anyway. 

So when Renjun continues to go on and on about Mark’s sudden spike of interest in a certain boy starting with D and rhyming with Yuck, he seriously reconsiders agreeing to do delivery sorting shifts with him. 

“ _Oh hey Donghyuck, mind if I join you in getting some lunch_? Wow. Dickhead. You have never gone for food with any of us except Jeno before. And Donghyuck’s barely been here for more than a month.”

Mark rolls his eyes. “Yeah, Renjun. It’s because you’re too busy marking Jaemin up and down as if his life depends on it for me to even invite you.”

Renjun makes an affronted noise before continuing with his work.

It’s a few minutes of quiet before the door is swung open to a dishevelled Donghyuck, wide eyes revealing surprise, mirrored on both Renjun’s and Mark’s faces.

“Uh… Donghyuck? It’s 2 am. What are you doing here?”

Donghyuck sheepishly grins before shuffling over and hopping up onto the bench top. “I got locked out.”

Mark and Renjun nod in confusion.

“Usually, I, just, ask my landlord for the spare keys but I was practising, I guess. And it was late by the time I went back. He was probably sleeping or something,” he says.

Mark stares, more out of curiosity than anything, for a few seconds before turning back to the bench. 

Renjun huffs as he glances between them, then moves past Mark out the door, telling Donghyuck that he can help out now that he was here.

They get to work, Donghyuck asking where things were supposed to go every five minutes, before claiming that he was too tired for this as he winds up sitting back up onto the bench.

Mark works as Donghyuck watches. It’s unsettling, for sure, and Mark’s not sure if he’s moving too slow or too fast or too little or too much.

“How long have you and Jeno known each other?”

Mark has to think back a bit. Technically it’s been five years since they’ve met. But it’s been a bit less since they’ve known each other.

“Uh, five years, I guess.” 

Donghyuck nods. 

The air is too thick to breathe so Mark asks a question. “Do you live alone?”

“Nope,” he pops the ‘p’ at the end - Mark finds it cute, to no one’s surprise. “Live with this other kid. He’s, uh, my age.”

Mark scolds himself to not fret over whether the boy was his boyfriend or not. But that in itself was fretting over it. 

The warehouse stays wordless from then until it reaches three in the morning. Donghyuck takes a nap in that time, only awakened by Renjun, grumbling something about what Mark was still doing here. 

It’s half an hour later, Renjun waves goodbye to them as Mark finishes locking up. Donghyuck and him loiter around, unsure of what to say.

“Wait, where are you gonna go? Do you need a place to stay for the night?” It’s a stupid question. It’s valid, sure, but it’s stupid. 

Because Donghyuck only looks up in surprise and lets a hint of a smile play out on the corners of his lips. “Thanks. I’m okay, though. It’s not long till he wakes up anyway, I’ll just go get some coffee.”

Mark wants to ask if he could join. He doesn’t, but it’s on the tip of his tongue. 

“Oh, okay. Cool. See you around then?”

Donghyuck nods and turns to leave. 

Before Mark goes into overdrive, Donghyuck turns back around. “Do you think you’ll win? The Championships.”

Mark’s toes curl from the cold breeze. “Maybe. I think there’s a fair chance. Do you think I’ll win?” He’s half joking as he asks this. Sort of.

Donghyuck laughs, “Oh no, no. I am not picking between you and Jeno. I’ve already told Jeno this and I’ll tell you again. If it helps, I’m with Taeyong’s bet.”

“Jeno’s asked you this too?”

“Yep. He wanted me to pick him, even almost charmed me with his stupid eye smile. But I’m not doing that anytime soon.”

Mark doesn’t capture the rest of the words. He’s already thinking too hard, too long. “Yeah, well, bye.”

He turns, refusing to lift his eyes up from the ground. 

-

Mark has reached peak stupidity, his brain juice is _gone_. Disappeared. He’s got it too fucking late to talk to Renjun, he’d lose face. Jeno’s recent efforts to join Donghyuck when he was busy running errands, or trying to get a shift together with him, or even skipping practice to catch Donghyuck when he was around the warehouse.

If _that_ wasn’t enough, then him not having a single, proper conversation with Jeno in a week should have been a dead giveaway.

It’s these things that have him pulling into Johnny’s disgusted face as he finishes the lap with one of his worst times ever. 

“My fucking three-year-old nephew drives better.”

Mark makes a mixed noise of a grunt and a whine. Johnny sighs as he taps on the spot on the bleachers next to him. Mark joins him and looks out to the tracks, a heavy sigh leaving his mouth.

It’s not like he expects Johnny to help him or anything. Hell, it’s weird to even just talk to him about something outside of the tracks. Johnny’s character was one that physically prohibited outside talk unless prompted. Mark takes the chance anyway.

“I like Donghyuck.”

Johnny nods, slightly confused. 

“Jeno also likes Donghyuck.”

Johnny nods slightly more understanding now. Still a bit confused. “I thought you and Jeno were....”

But when Mark doesn’t respond, Johnny just squints. “Nevermind.”

Mark continues, “And he’s been, not avoiding, but spending less time with me? To hang with Donghyuck.”

Johnny waits for a bit, to see if Mark is done. Then he gets up to stretch.

“Look, honestly, I couldn’t care less about your love life. Don’t let it affect your racing and I’ll be happy.”

Mark continues to stare out at the tracks. 

“But… word of advice: Don’t do anything,” he gestures to Mark, “would do.”

Mark furrows his eyebrows. “You just pointed to my whole body.”

“See now you’re getting it.” 

Mark sighs again. 

“Look, what I’m trying to say is, you and Jeno are best friends or whatever you guys call it. Don’t let your pride ruin that.”

Mark nods. “Thanks, Johnny.”

“Get back in. You’re staying here until you can get your best time.”

Mark laughs all the way to his car.

\--

He was supposed to take Johnny’s advice, truly. Johnny’s advice was usually a ‘do it or die’ situation. 

But apparently, Mark’s competitive streak is too high for him to make rational decisions. So he resorts to doing what he does best: making _everything_ into a competition.

Obviously, Jeno is still unaware of this, otherwise, he wouldn’t be so oblivious (or maybe just quiet) about Mark’s increasing efforts to talk to Donghyuck.

Besides, it’s too hard to catch the said boy in the first place, between his school and his work and his practices. Which for some reason does not happen at the track, courtesy of Taeyong’s yet again enigmatic reasoning. 

But Mark tries to do what he can anyway. 

“You know how you were talking about me not going out to eat with you guys?”

Renjun squints in suspicion. “Yeah…”

Well,” Mark shrugs, “are you free tomorrow?”

Renjun squints a bit harder and his eyes get a little narrower. 

Finally, he nods and makes a noise of acceptance. “I’m bringing Jaemin, though.”

“I was counting on it. I’ll bring Donghyuck?”

Renjun raises his eyebrows in disbelief. “Yeah whatever, as long as you’re paying.”

Mark takes what he gets. 

It’s how he ends up in a dainty, little booth in the shawarma store on the corner of 4th, with Donghyuck’s legs clinging to his and Jaemin laughing so hard, his head falls onto Renjun’s shoulders. 

It’s a bit hot, from the humid breeze of 11 pm and Donghyuck’s little breaths of laughter blowing onto the side of his neck. And so he’s flushed. From the heat. 

It doesn’t matter what Renjun says because it’s definitely from the heat. 

At long last, the shawarma comes and the booth almost immediately quietens. Only filled by the eating of four, tired, hungry boys. 

Renjun makes a noise of… whatever it is. It’s muffled by the astonishing amount of food in his mouth.

He swallows before saying, “Dude! Mark told me you were into like aliens and shit.”

Donghyuck scrunches his nose. “Yeah, I’d say it’s more the stars and constellations and space. But aliens do exist.”

Jaemin whines while throwing his head back in disappointment. He leans forward and pouts. “Not you too! I was hoping we could talk about the wonders of _science_.”

Renjun elbows him before smiling at Donghyuck. 

They drag on their conversation for, possibly, years on end. 

Mark takes a look at Donghyuck, a proper look. 

He’s _boyish_. Mark knows, Jeno knows, even Jungwoo knows. The whole world _should_ know. Donghyuck is boyish. 

It’s the way his fingers play with the hem of his shorts, lifting them up way too high for Mark’s health. And the way he subtly flirts with any breathing, living creature, drawing literally everyone in before passing it off as being his clingy self. And the way he puts his hat on backwards, which screams PRICK material. 

Donghyuck catches Mark’s eyes and gives him a smile before nudging his knees against Mark’s owns. 

It’s these silent, playful interactions of theirs which have Mark _hooked_. Donghyuck is a handful, he admits. He never shuts up about Mark being the oldest, living fossil he’s ever seen hang out with kids voluntarily even though Yukhei exists. 

But he’s understanding and patient and fucking hilarious, too. 

Mark knocks his knees back against Donghyuck’s and turns to Jaemin, who’s _somehow_ , finished his, Renjun’s, and Mark’s food. 

Mark rolls his eyes and leans back, which Donghyuck immediately follows as he curves into the Donghyuck sized hole on Mark’s right side. 

\--  
The next time he and Donghyuck hang out, it’s to get the best boba in the country, as Donghyuck has told him.

He thinks he sees shame in Donghyuck’s eyes when Mark informs him that he had never tried boba. It’s immediately followed by a ‘meet me near the station at 6 or perish’. Quoted word for word. 

Mark is ten minutes early just to be sure and is joined by Donghyuck a while later, who drags him to the end of the neighbourhood on a street which still has the street lights on from the dark morning. They walk until he sees the light of what has to be the only store open this early in the morning. 

He decides to let Donghyuck surprise him with his order, partly because he loves seeing Donghyuck’s expectant face at every surprise (which is usually a giveaway of the surprise itself, if he’s being honest), and partly because has no idea what any of these orders are or supposed to taste like. 

He’s dumbstruck at the taste of the sweet tea and ‘what the hell are these’ chewy things in his mouth. Donghyuck only laughs at him and tells him that he’s welcome. He tells him that they should try a fruit tea the next time they were here. (It makes Mark weak - it wasn’t even a date but they’re coming here again.)

“We should get a puppy,” Donghyuck says after taking an exceptionally long sip of Mark’s drink. 

Mark raises his eyebrows, “Jeno has like seven cats already.”

“Not the same. I’m thinking a retriever.”

Mark tells him that we can’t afford it unless Donghyuck has some rich sugar daddy that they’re unaware of.

“I don’t but that’s not a bad idea.”

“No.”

Donghyuck laughs, throwing his head back and revealing skin which glazes over in the sun like honey. “I mean it would pay the bills.”

“You have money to pay the bills right now.”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “My roommate, Yangyang. His family’s like rich and he’s a good friend from childhood so he just pays for us both. I guess he’s kinda like a sugar daddy except he’s younger than me.”

Mark realises that it was the same roommate who was, evidently, not his boyfriend. He lets himself rejoice a bit. 

Mark shakes his head in laughter. “You know, if you really wanted a puppy, you could get a job?”

“Doing deliveries?”

“Oh, no. No. The older ones would never let you do that till you’re at least 21. I meant like a proper job.”

Donghyuck thinks about it for a bit before answering that the boba place they’d just been to had two free spots and that Mark could help him make more money too. Cruel.

They talk for hours and hours, forgetting responsibilities and the text messages from Doyoung nagging them to go do their shifts. 

It’s nearly three o’clock when they bump into Jisung and Chenle on their way back from school. 

Chenle blinks at the both of them and starts showing Donghyuck the top ten coolest alley-oops ever. To which Donghyuck just coos and watches along intently. 

Jisung just nudges Mark and gives him a knowing smirk before begging Mark to buy them some food before they went back. 

Mark rolls his eyes and tells him that it’s because of this that he never willingly hung out with them. They end up buying ice-cream, despite Doyoung texting the group-chat only days ago that anything cold was off limits because he doesn’t have time to make soup if you’re sick. 

Donghyuck smears some on Jisung’s cheeks and from then it only takes a matter of seconds for their ice creams to finish, ending up with faces full of sticky flavours of vanilla and chocolate. 

This time, it’s Donghyuck who begs for Mark to buy them another round. No complaints go around, though. 

\--

He comes back to the apartment to Jeno melting marshmallow on the stove. The smell seeps into every single room in the apartment. 

“You’re going to set this place on fire.”

Jeno grins and offers Mark’s some gooey, pink liquid. Which Mark is, legally, obligated to take. 

“Where’d you go?”

Usually, they would come home together. Practising until the late, late hours of the night and driving home in cars beside each other. Today, though, he had left early on the basis of an errand. 

He couldn’t let Johnny know he was skipping _practice_ to do this. And he couldn’t tell Jeno where he had gone either. He’d rather burn his hair off. 

But Jeno already knows. He can see it in the way his shoulders are carried a bit less than usual, or how his glasses are close to slipping off his nose. 

Jeno only tells Mark to go shower and get changed for their monthly movie marathon.

A short while later, after Mark’s more comfortable and Jeno has made something a little more edible than melted marshmallow now, they situate themselves in front of the small TV which Yuta had donated them. 

But Mark’s already zoned out from the moving screen in front of them. Instead, he lets his heart get eaten out by his self-reproach.

Jeno hasn’t said anything yet. Mark knows he wants to, but Jeno’s silent. Probably brooding in the small, quiet way that he does. 

He wants Jeno to talk, to say something. It’s better than the silence that surrounds them.

It’s not uncomfortable, at all. Rather, Jeno’s the only one he can ever fully let his guard down with. But Mark’s own thinking is so _loud_ , that even Jeno pauses the movie to ask him if he was okay. It was something said rather than nothing and it broke Mark out of his hole he was being sucked into. 

Mark goes up to get a drink, before begging himself to stay composed. Ignore it because Jeno was ignoring it too. Jeno hangs out with Donghyuck. So, it’s not a big deal.

He joins Jeno back on the couch, without the feeling of ants crawling all over his guts this time. 

Jeno doesn’t stray his eyes from the screen again for the rest of the night. It’s like the feeling of being ignored that Mark hates all over again. 

Mark doesn’t have time to feel bad about it though, because the very next week, the tracks are empty. 

He doesn’t just mean no Jeno or no Donghyuck. It’s all the younger kids that are missing and all the older ones too and even Taeil, who barely finds it in his own personal interest to go outside ever. 

Mark checks the tracks, the bleachers, the warehouse, even the cabin that they were warned against going because it had _private_ items of Taeyong. (He doesn’t find enough courage in him to go in, he only knocks for ten minutes before returning.)

Eventually, after a few laps of timing himself, he calls Doyoung. 

“Mark?”

“Uh… yeah. It’s me. Where is everyone?”

Doyoung sounds a bit confused at this, informing Mark that he was out with Yuta for the day and that all the older kids had either deliveries booked until late or were out doing fuck-nothing. 

“Right… and the kids?”

“Well, Jisung and Chenle are out paintballing. I think Renjun, Jaemin, Jeno and Donghyuck went to the fair that was supposed to be going on this week. And Yukhei, Yangyang and the others are out watching a race.”

Mark nods in response and hangs up. He doesn’t realise that Doyoung couldn’t really see his nodding until it was too late to call back to apologise. 

It bothers him, that they went out without telling him. Actually, it upsets him that _no one_ invited him either. Does he have the right to hang up on Doyoung without a word? No, of course not. Stupid question. 

But it still sucks and Mark’s spite has bitten him right back in the ass. 

He drives and drives and drives, from lunch to dinner. He’s perfected the course now, finally. He knows because when he drives he forgets about everything else. As if his car is run by pure instinct. 

He beats his personal best.

He doesn’t tell anyone though. He just deletes the 1:38 from his phone and writes a 1:36 instead. 

He doesn’t even tell Renjun when he goes on and on about how Jaemin held his hand the entire rollercoaster, and how he continued holding on the next six times they went. (“You should’ve come. It’s a shame you were busy.” Mark tells him he wasn’t busy at all actually.)

Donghyuck tilts his head at Mark’s silence, but Mark quickly looks away, averts his focus on Jisung and Chenle’s paint-covered, grinning bodies running towards the group. 

He misses the way Donghyuck’s shoulders fall.

\--

It’s like a pound of cement starts flooding into his lungs from the moment he walks into the apartment. He doesn’t want to face Jeno. It’s too sticky. 

He’d told himself that he shouldn’t get angry, he’s the one who _started_ it. But, Mark was never really good at following any rules. 

So, he’s angry. And Jeno’s probably angry. And it’s too sticky for them to be in the same place at the same time. 

He considers moving to Renjun’s. But his parents, no matter how lenient with their son’s lifestyle choices, would never approve of someone like Mark. Renjun still offers. 

“Dude. Fuck my parents. Just sleep here if you want, it’s the least I can do to say sorry.”

Mark tells him that it wasn’t his fault he wasn’t invited because he didn’t know, so Renjun could shut up about it now. 

Renjun persists. “I stopped talking to Jaemin for this, I’m sure I can get through my parents getting me in trouble.”

Mark snorts. “You sound five.”

“I hate you.”

“Sorry, sorry. Why’d you stop talking to Jaemin though?”

Mark can almost see Renjun shrug. “He knew about Jeno not inviting you. Even though I’m not upset at him, it’s a shitty thing to do and now, he has to reap the consequences. Plus, being away for longer makes him kiss better.”

Mark rolls his eyes. Though, he owes it to Renjun for sticking by his side. He hangs up, not forgetting to remind Renjun to maybe cut Jaemin some slack. It’s only been four hours and Jaemin had sent a hundred or so messages to Mark’s phone. Usually, he sends one a month. 

He can see the hurt in Jeno’s eyes. It hacks off a part of Mark’s heart too. He feels guilty, so, so guilty. But Jeno doesn’t apologise and so, neither does he. 

Instead, Mark makes up for the lack of Jeno in his life by spending more and more time with Donghyuck. It’s intoxicating, even though Mark can _see_ Jeno watching them every time. 

Maybe that’s what makes it even more intoxicating.

Envy was never a drug Mark would find himself inhaling, getting off on, yet it keeps him on some sick high. Not unlike the feeling of his left hand on the wheel and right on the stick. Not unlike how Jeno felt, sidled up next to him on the back of Jungwoo’s dusty ute. 

The whole thing is definitely too overwhelming for Mark. Everyone can see it. He starts to drive more aggressively now, not caring whether his wheels go too close to the kerb or if his drifts are long enough to flip the car over. He’s too caught up thinking about everything else to think about racing.

Even Yuta, a self-proclaimed speed enthusiast, tells him with concerned eyes to slow down. 

Johnny backs off a bit, he’s more silent in their practices, thinks it’s best to let Mark handle it on his own. 

More of them try to give Mark some extra food during lunch, or slip in a water bottle in his car. But Jeno _still_ doesn’t apologise or even talk to Mark. And Donghyuck’s busier and busier now that the Championships are up and coming. 

It’s too much for Mark. 

Donghyuck taps on Mark’s window. He rolls it down to see a grinning face peek in.

“Let’s go for a ride.”

“It’s 3 am. I’m not taking you anywhere, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck widens his eyes and mumbles please at least a thousand times before Mark gives in, and tells him to buckle up.

Donghyuck tells him directions until they pull up into a shabby-looking building. Mark thinks it was a window that he saw hanging off the 8th floor. 

They make their way up, stairs never-ending until Donghyuck opens the door to the sight of dim lights, beat-down couches, and a rooftop view of the city.

“Welcome to my crib.”

Mark whips his head to Donghyuck.

Donghyuck shakes his head, “Oh! No, I was just kidding. I live in the building but this is kinda like my roommate and I’s ‘secret place.’ We share it with the owner.”

Mark nods and walks over to the edge of the building, looking out to the city lights. 

“Those are the tracks over there by the way.”

Mark’s mouth hangs open at this, speechless for the first time in Donghyuck’s presence as if he hadn’t been keeping count of all the times he almost stopped but just caught himself. 

Donghyuck tilts his head towards the couch, waiting for Mark to join him in eating the instant noodles he’d just finish making. 

The night goes like that. In a silence Mark didn’t know he needed until now. 

He doesn’t think much of it. Not while he’s there, or when he wakes up the next morning to drive them both back to the tracks, or when he sees the others watch the both of them get out. 

How could he? His thoughts are either always filled with everything or nothing. Both with Donghyuck. 

He only realises what he’s done until he sees Jeno stop petting his cat and staring at him. 

Mark had just let someone ride in his car for the first time, and it wasn’t Jeno. 

\--

Doesn’t matter that Mark had just broken an eight-year-old promise. Now that he was trying to apologise, Jeno seems to have disappeared. 

Mark can’t find him anywhere, and he hasn’t shown up at the dorm ever since that day. 

In good faith, Jaemin tells him he’s okay. And that Donghyuck was still checking up on him, so Mark didn’t need to worry. (Now, it was Jaemin’s turn to avoid both Mark and Renjun.)

Mark feels guilty at such an insane amount that he almost crashes the car on his 7th lap of the track. 

His car makes skid marks on the grass on the side of the tracks, and when the smoke clears up from his probably blown engine, Johnny’s face comes into view. 

“I fucking told you, idiot. Don’t let it affect your driving.”

Mark looks at his car in pain. He’s just a ruiner because he ruins everything. It didn’t help that the Championships were in less than a week and the fact that both Jeno and Donghyuck were either too angry or too busy to talk to him, respectively. 

He spends the day alone in the warehouse, organising the deliveries for so long that all the shifts after could be cancelled. 

Sometimes, he’s joined by Chenle, who shows him a video and laughs about it as loud as he fucking can in Mark’s ears. It cheers Mark up a bit and Mark thinks Chenle’s content with that because he sees a small smile on his face every time he walks back out. 

\--

The next bombshell is thrown fast. It’s when there are three days left until the Championships and Mark’s relented to working his ass off instead of brooding over his mistakes. 

It’s as he’s saying goodbye to the people in the shed eating dinner that he realises the absence of a certain mole-splattered boy. 

“He’s gone with Jeno to that…. Pancake place? The one you go to and spend your fucking week’s salary at.”

So Jeno’s taken Donghyuck to _their_ place. So what? Mark was thinking of taking him there sometime soon anyway. The difference was Jeno’s presence in that scene. 

So he’s upset. Devastatingly, actually. He’s livid that their place was not their place anymore, where they used to go when it was too late to sleep and there was too much adrenaline in their bodies to go back home. 

After hundreds of practices and slightly fewer races, they would go down to the corner store. It was their thing. Mark and Jeno’s. But he’s not too upset over it because he deserves it, he guesses. He’d just broken an eight-year promise with Jeno so who was he to say anything. Mark tells himself to just _shut up_ for once. 

Jisung tells him that it’s a pretty shit mentality to have, which is followed by Renjun scolding him for language. 

“You can’t just not let yourself be upset because you made a mistake too. It’s like saying I can’t be sad if Chenle dies because I stole his favourite hoodie last week.”

Chenle eyes glare at Jisung from his face that’s stuffed into his textbook. 

“Yeah. I guess. I am upset over it. But I’m also sad that I couldn’t be the one to take Donghyuck there first.”

“Because you like him? Yeah, you’re jealous.”

Mark tells him that he shouldn’t be though, because it’s not that deep and that Jeno and Donghyuck are allowed to be friends or whatever they are regardless of his own feelings. 

“Or maybe you just like Jeno. And you’re jealous because it was yours and his place together,” Jaemin shrugs. 

It’s too fucking confusing. Boys. Crushes. Friends. He’s driving down the same roundabout for maybe the fortieth time, even the dog in the cul-de-sac stops barking at him. 

So Mark is definitely jealous. The song that was on the radio could have told him that too, something about heartbreak and envy. Not like Mark was in denial. He understood perfectly that he was jealous, dumb and territorial. 

It’s what gets him speeding in an empty, industrial area. Johnny would get him killed for this. 

He’s driving aggressively, he knows this. It’s a bad habit that he probably picked up from his dad. He’s speeding. Sometimes too close to the kerb, sometimes not close enough. Drifting around the streets as if his car wouldn’t just tip over if it was a second longer. 

His mind is the exact opposite. Empty. Filled only by the thought of him liking his best friend. He’s not even mulling over it. He’s way too in over his head for Jeno, ever since the boy first told him that he genuinely thought his rapping was good and then proceeded to join in. So he accepts it. The fact that he likes both of them. 

But after that, he doesn’t get to drive for much longer.

\--

His drive here had been quiet. Safe. He had been too shocked to even consider getting here _faster_.

Doyoung’s rising panic in his voice as he screamed for Mark to get to the hospital had nearly driven Mark insane to the point where he was just calm.

He’d taken two steps at a time, holding back tears of regret and anger and fear, only to wind up hours later in the same hallway, waiting to hear something, anything on Jeno and Renjun. 

It’s been killing Mark; how no one seems to have the answer. Not for whether he can go see them, or how it happened, or if they were even _okay_. 

It’s dirty. Everything is so fucking dirty. He knows no amount of guilt is going to reset time and undo the accident, he knows, for God’s sake Doyoung, he knows. Still, he feels dirty. 

He’s been here for long, too long. Long enough that pins and needles have numbed his legs for the last three hours. Mark doesn’t move though. 

He doesn’t move when Yuta tries to get him to eat, nor when Taeyong brings him a bottle for when he gets thirsty. Not even when Johnny comes to get him to talk. 

Donghyuck comes and sits beside him, a voice of silent comfort. It soothes him, as little as possible, but still somewhat. 

He sees eyes around him drift open and shut, and footsteps receding and approaching, usually the older kids, with food and water. 

He hasn’t got up from his seat though, not once. He doesn’t know if he can.

“Eat the _fucking_ food, Mark,” Jaemin’s voice resounds. 

It’s been almost eight hours since they came here, so naturally, Jaemin sounds angry. Bitter. Ruthless in a way that makes Mark finally take the food. 

Jaemin pops down in between Mark’s legs, so Mark threads his hands through his hair; an attempt to ease his mind. 

It doesn’t last long though, because barely fifteen minutes later, the doctor walks out the door, asking for the supervisor. The older boys hesitate for a bit, looking around hesitantly, until Taeyong comes forward, unsure by the way he stumbles. 

“They’re okay. Mild injuries along the leg and arms, but no head injuries so, it should be fine in a couple of days. They’ll have to stay here for a few more hours maybe, just to run some final tests. After that, they’ll be allowed to come home.”

A chorus of sighs, exhalations of relief, are let out. 

“Will he… they be able to drive?”

“No, definitely not at least for another two months…”

It doesn’t matter what the doctor says after that because Mark stops listening. All he can think of is: Jeno won’t be able to race in the Championships. 

\--

It’s a kind of relief he’s never quite experienced before. When he walks into Renjun’s room, greeted by the sight of sunken eyes and warm eyes. 

He shakily breathes as he sits in the chair beside Renjun, taking in his torn up body. Neither of them speak, can’t bring themselves to. Don’t know what to say. 

“Are you okay?”

Renjun turns to him. “Yeah. Just a few scratches, nothing that’s gonna keep me from saving your miserable ass day and night.”

Mark’s laugh is throaty. Old tears and snot still caught up within it. 

Renjun frowns, “Are you okay?”

Mark takes a while before he nods. He’s okay now. He’s going to be okay. 

Renjun sighs before leaning against his pillow. “Okay. You can tell me if you’re not. You’re my best fucking friend, you know that.”

Mark nods again, still unable to even _talk_ with all this goddamned water in his eyes. 

It’s silent again. Mark just wants to hear Renjun breathe even though he’s always complaining about it being too loud, wants to see his fingers fidget like they usually do when he’s nervous. 

Then, Renjun says, “You’re stalling.”

Mark’s been caught so blatantly, he might as well paint his hand red. It’s embarrassing.

Renjun just smiles and tells him to bring Jaemin, not before telling Mark that he was proud of him. 

About a half hour later, Mark walks into Jeno’s room. It’s filled with the scent of Donghyuck and medicine. 

But it’s only Jeno in the room, wide awake and giving Mark a relieved kind of smile.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Mark doesn’t know what to say. Whether to apologise for being a dickhead or yell at him for being so careless or confess his undying love.

Jeno shuffles over to let Mark join him on his bed, and both squeeze onto the small mattress together, legs tangled and breaths mixing. 

“I’m sorry.” It’s Mark who apologises first. He doesn’t even know what for. Probably everything, but he apologises and it’s over. 

“Me too. We were both stupid Mark, don’t worry about it.”

Mark hums, though he’s still planning his 67th way to apologise to Jeno. Fifty of them involve cats.

He doesn’t ask about how they crashed, or who else was involved. Jeno tells him later anyway, but now, it’s the last thing on Mark’s mind. 

“Are you okay?”

“Always. You?”

Mark nods once again. “You’re a fucking idiot, you know.”

Jeno sighs and turns to look at Mark. “I’m not gonna leave you, Mark.”

It hurts because he nearly just did. Mark appreciates it anyway. 

“Mark. You know that right? I’m not leaving you. I’m not your dad, or your mum or even your sister. You have me through and through. I’m not leaving you, Mark.”

This time Mark doesn’t even try to stop the tears. He just hugs Jeno, as much as he can in this position anyway, and lets himself sob into Jeno’s shoulder. 

“You’re still a bit ugly when you cry.”

“You nearly _died_ , you fucking buffoon. Leave me alone.”

Jeno laughs, his bruised eyes disappearing into moons. 

Mark thinks it’s now or never. Tied up against Jeno like this, his heart about to vomit onto Jeno’s shirt. It’s now or never. 

“I like you,” he blurts out. 

Jeno stops laughing and Mark stops working. Only the increasing beeps of the heart monitor are heard. 

That could’ve gone a little better, but it’s not a big deal, all that’s left now is death, Mark thinks.

Jeno sighs in relief. “Yeah… me too. Like you, I mean. Not myself.”

Mark’s brain is still rewiring itself to comprehend this but when he does, he starts freaking out. 

“Oh. And I like Donghyuck too.”

“Me too. Yeah, actually, he was the one who told me I might have had harboured feelings for you all these years. Wanted us to ‘get our shit together’ or something,” Jeno says. 

Mark rolls his eyes and smiles along with Jeno. It’s just their lazy smiles against each other’s until Jeno winces, telling Mark to get off the fucking bed before he kicks him off. 

After Mark is unceremoniously kicked out and seated on the chair, he says, “You can’t race anymore.”

Jeno nods. “Yeah, shame. Would’ve kicked your ass too. Just have fun and don’t die, that’s all I want.”

Mark watches him for a bit before nodding. “I’ll even try win for you. I’ll be your hot, illegal criminal boyfriend who drives and wins every race ever.”

Jeno snorts, “Yeah, that’s Donghyuck.”

Mark is inclined to agree. 

“Wait. Boyfriend?” Jeno asks in that tone that makes him sound like an airhead, according to Renjun.

Mark pauses. He didn’t even mean to say it. It was stupid, a slip of the tongue. Something he’d been thinking for far too long that it had just slipped out. “Yeah?”

Jeno nods. “Cool.”

So he follows. “Cool.”

Donghyuck barges in and slams the door open. “Are you guys done… making up or out now?”

“Up,” Mark confirms. 

“Sure. Whatever. Anyways, so I was thinking for our first date, we go to this really cool abandoned building. There’s like a 50% chance one of us will get haunted.”  
\--

It’s the day before the Championships and instead of practising, he’s sitting here eating burgers with Johnny.

“I should be on the tracks.”

Johnny shakes his head which causes a bit of sauce to drip down his mouth. Mark grimaces. 

“A true racer never practices too much. It’s the 5th rule of racing.”

“You told me that the 4th rule of racing was that you can never practice too much.”

Johnny glares at him with so much brute that Mark grabs his burger and starts eating. 

“Did you get your shit sorted?”

Mark nods, tells him that everything’s fine for the first time in his life. 

Johnny smiles, “That’s good. And it’s still gonna be fine tomorrow?”

“Yeah. I keep telling myself that it doesn’t really matter if I win or not. I have a proper family for the first time in my life.”

Johnny’s eyes water up a bit, or maybe Mark just imagines it because the next second he’s yelling at Mark for even considering losing. 

\--

From the moment Mark wakes up, he can feel that it’s a different kind of day. His heart is beating differently against the skin of his chest and his sweat is dripping differently. 

He’s terrified. He’s never wanted to win more badly. He’d been training for fucking years and this was his regional race debut. 

Johnny only succumbs to Mark’s pleads for food as a sign of good luck, as well as his two-second thumbs up that he holds before the race starts. 

But Mark doesn’t need that. He doesn’t have anything or anyone on his mind. He just wants the spin of his wheels to go faster and time to go slower. 

And so, what feels like, two seconds after he wakes up, he gets into his well-worn car. 

Donghyuck pulls in next to him in a car with the ugliest shade of green he had ever seen. 

“Good luck, cutie.” He throws a wink, maybe mocking Mark’s wide blown pupils, his brain leaking with the ‘focus’ he’s been instilling in himself for the last three weeks. 

He probably is, but Mark doesn’t mind it. He never really does.

He turns his attention back to the course he’s made his own, practised and perfected.

The race starts. 

\--

From the first lap, Mark stays in the lead. He’s been holding back on his steering when he drifts and is shifting faster than he ever has before because these are the fucking Championships, it’s now or never. 

The laps drone on; Mark stopped counting after the fourth one. His lead is narrow, very narrow, but it’s there. Jeno’s watching and Johnny’s watching and he’ll be damned if he lets that gap go now of all times because it’s enough to get him the gold. 

As the last lap comes around, Mark’s thrill reaches its peak. He’s got about twenty seconds until the finish line and his formulated, instinctive moves were going to carry him through. 

He calculates his time and turns on the gas at exactly ten seconds before the line. It gets him to the line in five.

-

Mark leans against the table littered with drinks, sipping on something he doesn’t know the name of.

The gang had set up an after-party in the warehouse, for the winner, with shitty booze and decorations that were peeling off the walls every time he blinked. 

Mark appreciates it. He thinks it’s sentimental or whatever. Looking around, he spots Donghyuck and Jeno splayed out against the hood of the car, staring up at the scattered constellations, background chatter turning into white noise. 

He smiles, mostly to himself, before tossing out his drink and joining them.

In the end, he ties with Donghyuck as they both take first place in the Championships.

Donghyuck’s driving is formless. Almost as if it only has one rule, which is to have no rules. It’s captivating to watch. Beautiful in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it kind. 

And, oh, it forms such harmony with Donghyuck’s electrifying nature behind the wheel. His tendency to bend whatever anyone had told him about good fucking racing and rewrite it with his own wheels. 

It beats Mark’s calculated driving any day. The one where he knows his every move before the race even starts. No, Donghyuck’s racing is limitless, incalculable because it is infinite. 

The only difference was that Mark had been driving practically his whole life, and Donghyuck was new. 

No one saw it coming though: Mark and Donghyuck tying. Because, like everything else besides the stupid car elevator, Taeyong had managed to convince Donghyuck to keep his driving a secret too. Mark was just too caught up in a) racing, b) Donghyuck himself, and c) Jeno to even realise that he hadn’t seen Donghyuck’s driving. 

Maybe he _should_ stop taking his racing so seriously as Donghyuck had advised. He knows that next year, Donghyuck will probably take the trophy from him, if Jeno doesn’t first. Unless Mark figures out how to let go. But he can worry about that a bit later. 

He hops onto the back of the ute, cramped between Jeno and Donghyuck’s bodies. 

“You know, I’m glad I begged Taeyong to let me meet you guys.”

Mark grins. Only Donghyuck would ever beg Taeyong _and_ get his way on top of that. 

“I’m glad you begged him too, Hyuck. I really don’t know what I’d be without you.” 

Donghyuck shrugs. “Dead probably.”

Before Mark can take offence, Jeno starts. “I’m proud of both of you. Regardless of times and winning,” he says, eyes still looking up at the constellations above. 

Mark watches him for a while and lays his head on Jeno’s shoulder. “I’m glad you didn’t give up on me,” he whispers. 

Donghyuck whines about being left out and immediately latches onto Mark’s side, eliciting a groan from Mark. Jeno only laughs harder before stopping and asking Donghyuck what their earlier three-hour cuddle session was for. 

Donghyuck stands up and screams. “I LOVE THE LEE’S.” 

“I LOVE YOU TOO,” Taeyong screams back.

“I MEANT JENO AND MARK.” He pauses for a split second. “BUT YOU TOO.”

Then, the moment gets caught up in Jeno’s moon-shaped eyes and Donghyuck’s giggles.

Mark thinks that even if Jeno and Donghyuck and racing are undefinable, he doesn’t need to solve anything. There’s no need to ‘define.’ He likes it this way, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> ahhhh hope you all liked the read;; please feel free to talk to me on my twitter  
> \- ravenboy


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